“Surely I was sinful at birth,
sinful from the time my mother conceived me” Psalm 51:5
I recently got a revelation on what David was expressing in Psalm 51 that has led me to a place of deep reflection. This Psalm was written against the backdrop of the Prophet Nathan’s visit to David, after he committed adultery with Bathsheba. King David is always seen as a true example of a worshipper, one who God sought through the Prophet Samuel. In fact, God described him as a ‘man after my own heart’ (1 Samuel 13:14 and Acts 13:22). Yet, King David sinned.
In the Psalm 51, David was not only seeking God’s forgiveness but I saw a struggling David who was straight up about his sinful ways, yet, he had an excuse for sinning. In verse 5 of the Psalm, he made it clear that sin is naturally in him because when his mother’s egg was met by his father’s sperm, the two surely conceived a sinful child.
So it is with us, we are all sinful, it is only natural.
I understand how conflicted David must have felt as he sought God’s forgiveness. Here he has sinned and felt so distressed and far from God but then he must be saying to himself, ‘but God, You know that You allowed me to be sinful because I was so conceived’.
Personally, I truly get David, I really do. I was once conflicted about my sinful ways when I gave myself to the one I thought I would marry. When I came to the realization of how far away I felt from God and how distressed I became as a result of the heaviness of my poor decision and sinful choice, I was angry! I was mad with myself and I was mad with God. I wondered how could God, whom I have been walking with from I was a little child, could have allowed me to sin so terribly. It was the worse decision of my life because it affected my relationship with God. I found it difficult to cope with the fact that I disobeyed God and my life as I saw it, would never be the same. I asked a lot of questions: why did You, God allow me to do it? why didn’t You, God prevent it? why do I have to feel so hurt and distressed?
I prayed it through and when prayers never seemed sufficient, I cried it through. But that was simply a natural response to sin. I could not embrace forgiveness from the moment I prayed about it because, even while I was a Christian, I really did not understand the supernatural response of God to my natural sinfulness.
A King’s response to sin
Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgressions.
Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin. Psalm 51: 1-2
So it was with David, he was heavy, distressed and angry as he prayed. That was the natural response to his sinfulness. However, like the ‘man after God’s own heart’ that he was, he knew God’s heart and as he prayed, he believe in God’s desire and willingness to overshadow his sinfulness with compassion and love (Psalm 51: 1-2)
You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart
you, God, will not despise. Psalm 51: 16-17
Another important truth about David’s response is that he leads us to truly realize that we can do nothing on our own to remedy sin (Psalm 51:16-17). There is no amount of church work or giving that can save you. Neither will feeling sorry for yourself deliver you from your sins.
One of the reason I was able to truly forgive myself and overcome the guilt and shame, was recognizing that I could not do anything to change the truth about what I had done. I also recognized and held firmly to the truth that God had already forgiven me and through the shed blood of Jesus Christ, my debts were paid. Took a while to get there but thank God I did.
A final point about David’s response was that he knew, through the divine wisdom of God, that though he sinned, he was to go to God (Psalm 51:6). That is what God desires, our faithfulness to Him, even as we confront the sins in our lives.
The truth of David’s response must resonate deep within us otherwise, we will have the wrong response to God’s love for us and we will live unfulfilled lives, even as Christians.
David sought God’s forgiveness as he trusted in the true character of God and he knew what God desires of us. He knew God’s heart because he was a man after God’s heart. He taught us that though we sin, our natural response is not sufficient but we need a supernatural response to save us from our sinful ways. That supernatural response from God is a response of love and compassion which he has prepared for us in advance. May we be wise enough to embrace this truth!
Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb;
you taught me wisdom in that secret place. Psalm 51:6
My sincere thanks go out to Bishop George Bloomer who enlightened us on Psalm 51 during our week-long 13th Anniversary celebration at WAFIF (November 4-9, 2018).
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